urgent threats

From Inch at a Time, a reminder of urgent world threats:



And a reminder that no on 8 urgently needs funds for the final stretch. There's be a mass of flogging praying loonies this weekend on the airwaves. Please help if you can.

wicked witch of the north west

I believe this photo shows her in her own outfits, and not her $150,000 RNC threads.



She's been this way ever since the White House fell on her sister.

Happy Hallowe'en Everyone.

from flickr

hearse driver

A repost making a holiday return.

What is Halloween without Hearses, Punks, and Goth-a-licious Go-Go Girls? It's a very ghostly place. Fortunately, our friends at the Denver Hearse Association have produced this killer video to brighten our holiday spirit. Check out "Hearse Driver"

EJ Wells, Hearse Driver, directed by Zachary Byron Helm

Add to My Profile | More Videos

I love the line "I drive a hearse, things could be worse, I could be riding in the back".

If I have another year like this one, I will be.

haunted house

From Joe My God. I especially love John Mc Cain looking in the mirror...

a sorry time

Here's an excellent spot narrated by Samuel Jackson reminding California of a sorry time when discrimination was legal..

rednecks for obama

"Even WE'VE had enough..."

marrying karl rove

Even though I had been in several relationships, I never really thought about marriage as a concept until he appeared. It was the spring of 2004. I was about to turn a major digit on my odometer and had always assumed I would die a single man in the eyes of the law.

And then Karl came onto the scene- with a round bald head, pasty white complexion, a belly reminiscent of an off season Santa Claus and a heart full to the brim of black bile and unrestrained opportunism. A man who truly earned his nickname of "Turd Blossom". Yes, I fell in love with same sex marriage because of Karl Rove.

Karl all but invented same sex marriage. It didn't come from us. It was he who introduced the need to ban it as an agenda item in the 2004 State of the Union Address. He created a panic in order to motivate the "Christian Evangelical" base and energize the election campaign in favor of an inept and corrupt President.

Because the inept and corrupt president had absolutely no compelling argument of his own why he should be elected (not technically re-elected, darlings, because the first election was stolen), they had to think of something. Turd Blossom engineered the gay marriage threat and energized the wingnut base to call for a pre-emptive ban on the severe threat to civilization posed by... adults professing their love for one another. Egads, the horror of it all!

Then Gavin Newsom threw some Chanel No. 5 onto the fire by actually issuing 4,000 same sex marriage licenses in San Francisco. Thank goodness the State shut him down before the social fabric was irreparably torn. But all this publicity made me think. At that time, I was seeing someone that I was very attached to. And for the first time, I thought about the statement that marriage makes to ones beloved and realized that I wanted to make that promise. I wanted to be able to love, honor, and cherish in sickness and in health.

And I further noticed that a domestic partnership is as woefully inadequate as a colored drinking fountain in a Birmingham Bus Depot. And that's when I decided that I won't settle for a distant second best, I want my civil rights.

"We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal, and they are endowed by their creator with certain unalienable rights, and among these rights are life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness."

I won't settle for anything less than the real thing.

And I owe it all to Karl Rove.

write to marry: ed and larry

In honor of "write to marry" day, here is a repost from earlier this month.

I really like the simplicity of this piece, but I posted it the day before I introduced y'all to Father Geoff, so it got somewhat overlooked.

So let's use "write to marry" day to introduce y'all to "ed and larry":

-----

Ed is my hairstylist, because we don't call them barbers in Beverly Hills. We go all the way back to my first month in Los Angeles, which means we're in our fifteenth year. In that time, I've let exactly one other stylist touch my hair. After that, I learned to wait for Ed to get back. From Las Vegas, from a Hair Show, from Prison, whatever. I wait.

Ed and Larry did their share of waiting too. They're about ten years older than myself, so these guys are no springtime brides. They've been through life. Ed lost his partner Steven to the plague early on. He withdrew from the scene until he met Larry, and then something clicked.

Larry is a pragmatic Midwesterner. He knew what he wanted and just hung in there waiting while it evolved. At first, Ed said Larry would just hold him and let him cry over Steven. As time passed, Ed noticed that he had stopped crying and looked over his shoulder to see Larry there holding him. And that's pretty much how it's been this last seventeen years. I've never known a more stable couple.

When I saw him in July, I asked Ed if they were thinking of tying the knot. Ed said that he asked Larry, but Larry wasn't sure. Ed was rather hurt by the answer, saying that if he didn't know after seventeen years he wasn't sure when he ever would. I quickly changed the subject back to Lindsay Lohan.

I saw him last week and gingerly asked if there was any more discussion on the subject. "Oh, we did it", he replied. "We got married". "What? How did that happen?" I asked. About a month ago, it seems, Larry casually asked Ed to meet him at City Hall on a Friday afternoon. When Ed asked why, Larry said that he thought they should get their license.

Ed met him on the steps of City Hall, and they were the last couple for the day. While filling out forms, the clerk asked if they were getting married that day. "May we"? Ed asked, and was told that they could indeed. "But we don't have rings" Larry interjected. "Yes, we do". Ed had stopped by the bank and retrieved a pair they had bought on vacation one year, just in case.

Ed looked at Larry. Larry nodded. Ed smiled. And so it was to be. Long time friends Peter and John who happened to be there getting their own license stood as witnesses. "It's the darnedest thing", Ed spoke softly. "When we stood under that gazebo and started saying those vows, we both teared up. It really meant something".

I asked him if it was any different now, and he said "in all honesty, yes". He introduces Larry not as his partner, but as his spouse. Even after the implied stability of all the years, this is now a legal bond that requires a court order to dissolve. One can't just walk out on the other in the heat of an argument. "It's real" he said. "We're married".

A Toast to the New Grooms. How about the inimitable Dusty Springfield, Wishin' and Hopin' that we retain the right to choose the one we love:

sing out diane

United States Senator Dianne Feinstein, right on the money in recognizing that Proposition 8 has NOTHING to do with marriage, and everything to do with discrimination.



Now WHERE is the Governator????

if you really care...

message to michael

Goodness, but I'm getting radical in my old age and I'm having outrageous thoughts.

For example, I strongly hold the belief that God's love is for everyone, and not just for a select few. Further, I believe that the majority cannot be trusted to safeguard the rights of the minority. On the same thread, I believe that when Jesus told us to "love one another, as I have loved you" that I, as a gay man, am fully included in that circle.

And as a radical step, I believe that a Church that supports the enshrinement of discrimination is wrong. Dead wrong. Like the Mormons and the Catholics are dead wrong and will be ridiculed by history for their bigoted stance. And while I'm out there, I believe that Father Geoff Farrow will ultimately be seen as a hero for his refusal to incite bigotry and hate among the faithful.

This morning I posted an update on Father Geoff and received this comment from a Michael Ejercito of Long Beach, California. To wit:

"If Geoffrey Farrow can be true to his Catholic faith while supporting same-sex "marriage", then Muslim clerics can be true to their Muslim faith while eating chitterlings".

I would have responded directly, but there was no email attached and his blogger profile is "private".

I did find his myspace page, where he expresses his desire to meet George W. Bush and girls "pretty enough to have sex with. :-)". I sincerely hope I have not confused those two.

I further located his linked-in profile, but it must be out of date as it infers that he has not had a job since April.

And here is his picture: (I like to see who I'm talking with)



Rather than use my own words, which might be unkind, or even address the chittierlings and his indelicate reference to uncleanliness, I will defer to The Reverend Susan Russell of All Saints Episcopal Church in Pasadena, who answered a similar question yesterday on her excellent Inch At A Time Blog. She said:

"Interestingly your questions are not unlike the ones Jesus answered in Matthew 22:34-40 which -- even more interestingly -- was the text appointed for our sermon today at All Saints. The answer for us is that same as it was for Our Lord ... we believe that ALL the law and the prophets hang on the two great commandments: love the Lord your God and love your neighbor as yourself. And we believe that we are following both of those commandments when we marry same-sex couples here at All Saints Church ... which we have been doing since June 17th."

Blessings to you, Michael Ejercito, and may you soon realize that Jesus opposed all types of persecution and bigotry. God's love is for all of us.

And just to prove no hard feelings, here's Dionne Warwick with her 1966 Bert Bachrach hit. So take a message to Michael:

rising on the charts

Good news from the LA Times website this morning- Father Geoff's interview with Steve Lopez, which appeared in yesterday's edition, is the second most emailed story of the day.

Here's an excerpt...

Gay priest is true to his faith, at odds with his church

So who is this Catholic priest from Fresno who stood up and spoke out against Proposition 8, putting his career on the line? As a gay man who finds the church's views on homosexuality so objectionable, why has he been a priest for more than 20 years and subjected himself to such moral conflict?

After reading my colleague Duke Helfand's story about Father Geoffrey Farrow and his recent career-suicide from the pulpit, I was curious.

read the entire interview here

and don't forget to visit no on 8

jesus had it right

Has it only been three weeks since I got involved with the task of helping Father Geoff spread his message into the blogosphere? Wow. 10,000 hits later here I am, demonized in some parts of Kansas and energized by Father Geoff and the amazing, loving, affirming people I have encountered. There are some wonderful voices out there to be heard.

I was happy to bump into the Rev. Susan Russell of All Saints Pasadena, a truly outstanding group of people. I attended services there a few years back when I lived in Studio City, and loved the All Saints Family.

Susan writes a blog called An Inch at a Time and has been a terrific friend and supporter to Father Geoff. She's a special lady.

I found this Sunday's sermon on her blog, in which (totally awesome) Father Ed Bacon speaks out against Proposition 8. In his words, if Jesus is right, his directive to love thy neighbor would compel any true Christian to oppose discrimination. Take a listen:




And please, if you can, donate here to help defeat the misguided souls who want to enshrine discrimination.

every day is like sunday

I really must admit I hate working on Sunday. It's just a day that not meant to be wasted in the world of work. Sundays are meant for lazy mornings, catching up on blogs, watching the politicals, and taking photos for my Sunday Drive series which has been on hiatus due to work, but will be back soon.

Happily I left an hour early, so there was enough time to take a nice walk while the sun was still high. Early fall in Santa Monica is awesome. Totally clear blue skies and milder temperature. It's my favorite season here. I came back with a Classic Morrissey song in my head this afternoon, so I may as well share it with you.



And just for some contrast, here's Natalie Merchant of 10,000 Maniacs with her cover version, from Candy Everybody Wants. I really love her voice and the intonation she gives it.



And yes, I've noticed that I've gone totally eighties musically of late.

Isn't it tubular?

when I danced

I know you said you preferred I Touch Roses, but I couldn't find the video. And I've always been mesmerized by Pretty Boys and Pretty Girls. Of course, the pop single had the Tubular Bells mixed out, so I had to go with the club version. It's the one I remember hearing the most.

I've been thinking a of of my club days 20 years ago in Milwaukee. Saturday nights hanging out with my friends at La Cage, in pursuit of the homme du jour. Sometimes I knew in advance who I would be dancing with, sometimes not. Some of the memories are bittersweet at best, and I wonder how that could be so long ago.

But hey, it's the sultry sounds of Susan Ottaviano, sending me back to a time when Saturday nights were spent on the dance floor, with pretty boys and pretty girls.

road trip

Things are a bit intense. I'm becoming relatively obsessed with Proposition 8, which is not the least about marriage but simply a bid to write discrimination into the California constitution. Backed to a huge extent by the Mormons, a group who itself was pretty persecuted 100 years back. Wouldn't you think those fuckers would be a bit more compassionate?

But I really need a break. It would be perfect to take a road trip for the weekend, just 48 hours away. What better way than a cool motor home, specially decorated and staffed by Bill Uechi (bass), Eric Zamora (saxophone), José Castellaños (trumpet) Brian "T-Bone Willy" Williams (trombone), and drummer Marc Harismendy.

Throw in kicky vocalist Monique Powell, and you've got the third- wave ska-punk band "Save Ferris". Which is better than "Save Marriage". Much better.

So for my virtual escape, here's the 80's seen through the eyes of the 90's.

Come on, Eileen:

joe the plumber

Satire, but really good satire.



Does Mc Lame actually research anything?

backwards

Okay, I tend to see many things that the Republicans do as backwards, but they did manage to produce a worthwhile No on 8 called "backwards" that I think is very appropriate. The imagery of Colored drinking fountains and Japanese detainment camps should serve as stark reminder that the Majority have a very uneven record at best of managing the Civil Rights of the Minority.



Donate Here

a pox on your wedding

.....if you dare to outlaw mine. And you know I'm mean enough to do it...



Now I feel better.

But let's not stop there. If the proposition passes, I'm calling for a general strike by gay people. Let these bigots go without hairstyling, and let their goddamn computers crash. Just see how long it takes to get a drink on a cross country flight come December.

Wait till you see next years fashions! Polyester leisure suits for everyone!



courtesy of failblog

missa solemnis

On the morning of February 25, 2000 a young man named Henry Stuart Matis drove to the Mormon Ward House in Los Altos, CA, placed a gun to his head and ended his life.

This is his story.



A play written by Roman Feeser. Directed by Linda S. Nelson.

And all those mormon dollars flowing into California to ram Prop 8 down our throats aren't about discrimination.

Riiiight.

(video and editing by knucklecrack)

No on H8

Excellent satire of a hysteria inducing spot on Prop 8:

chain reaction

His name was Bobby. He was a little waif in a bomber jacket and black boots, two days worth of beard concealing his boyish face. And he was a snotty little bastard. I asked him to dance and he said coolly, "I'm waiting for a Diana Ross song".

And then the DJ played "Chain Reaction". I looked over him and smiled. He flashed the most beautiful smile. I had him.



I remember so much about that night at La Cage in Milwaukee twenty one years ago. His ridiculous boots, the snow flurries outside, the tiny warm lobby of his twenties brownstone building, the rickety elevator, his bright red briefs, how wonderful it felt to hold him on a chilly fall night.

I was so crazy about him. We had a wonderful winter and spring. In reality, I guess he was my first real boyfriend. Wow, hadn't really thought of that.

Our lives took us in wildly different directions. I hadn't spoken with him since I moved to California in the mid-90's. On the internet, I read that he died on September 2nd, 2008, after a long battle with HIV.

Wherever you are, Bobby, thanks for the memory.

eastbound

My friend and fellow liner junkie Carl Weber snapped these pictures yesterday of the eastbound Queen Elizabeth 2 sailing past Battery Park for the final time, meeting up with her big sister Queen Mary 2 at the Statue of Liberty, and then departing on their tandem crossing to their home port of Southhampton.




While I have sailed the QM2 and like the ship, the side by side comparison of the two draws an inevitable conclusion about grace and style on the high seas.

Thanks, Carl, for the excellent photos.

goodbye old girl

This morning at 4:45 AM, when this post appears, she will cross eastbound under the Verrazano Narrows Bridge for the 710th time. She normally enters in silence, however on this occasion, a whistle salute will mark her arrival in New York. She will pass the Statue of Liberty inbound at 5:30 AM. By 7:00, she will berth at Pier 90, her longtime New York home of so many years.

At 5:00 PM this afternoon, she will raise anchor and depart her pier for the final time. She will receive a tribute from the NYFD Emerald Society Pipes and Drums at Battery Park City Promenade at approximately half past five. At 6:10, she will rendezvous with her younger sister at the Statue of Liberty. Then she will sail out of New York for the last time. It has been thirty nine years since she first touched these shores.

She sailed eastbound full of promise on her Maiden Voyage in May, 1969. She was sparkling new, the last passenger liner to be built at the John Brown shipyards in Clydebank. She was the spiritual descendant of a hundred years of gallant ships, and the immediate replacement for two dearly beloved icons- the Queen Mary and the Queen Elizabeth. And to many, she is the very last of the great ocean liners.

But her sailing career is at an end. Thirty-nine years of service, over 5.6 million nautical miles, some two and a half million passengers in all. She has survived freak waves, the Falklands war, an engine conversion in the eighties, and some 25 circumnavigations of the globe. She has had the longest career of any Cunard ship in history. And today she touches New York for the final time, en route home to Southhampton and then a final voyage to Dubai and retirement there as a luxury hotel.

She is as much a part of New York as Rockefeller Center, Liza Minnelli, or Tiffany's.



She is the liner Queen Elizabeth 2, and there will never be another like her. She truly is the last of her epoch.

Goodbye old girl, with gratitude for your years of exemplary service. Your name will be on the short list of ships who truly posessed a soul.

angry old man

Great montage of the the spoiled military brat, now aged one thousand, unable to even keep civil on national television. Yeah, right, give him the missile codes.



Maybe Cindy could give him some of her pills? Might do us all some good.

presidenshul

ur doin it wrong

sotto voce

Hello, long term readers. Remember me?

I'm just taking a minute to explain that I'm still here, taking photos of old signage and revelling in quiet fall mornings when the leaves crunch as I walk to work. But my priorities have shifted for the time being.

As you have no doubt noticed, this little favor getting Father Geoff up and into the blogosphere has taken about every spare moment (My, you New York boys publish early) but I am in awe of him and his energy and 100% committed to help spread the word on Proposition 8.

So it will continue this way for a while yet. In the interim, be happy that his message has been featured on all the prominent LGBT blogs, plus the National Catholic Weekly and Dignity pages, he's been interviewed in the LA Times and the San Francisco Chronicle, appeared on Telemundo and on Michelangelo Signorile's show on Sirius, and NPR affiliate KQED in San Francisco.

I loved the movie "Foul Play" in 1978, with Chevy Chase and Goldie Hawn breaking a ring attempting to bring down the Catholic church in California. Recall the Albino, Turk, and the Dwarf as members of the Tax The Churches League?



Well, somehow I found myself in the movie, except the good guys and bad guys have switched hats. Does that make me the Dwarf? Maybe I'll go for the Rachel Roberts part instead. Of course, we're not trying to tax the Church. But it's more than a bit unsettling that the Church is now operating as a Political Action Committee and has taken direct aim at my civil rights. So I'm gonna keep plugging away at the evil empire pushing for Prop 8, and the tone here will be more politics and less of my own stories through the election. Hope you all stick with me.

Love to all, and No on Eight. Contribute if you can.

unfair, unnecessary, and wrong

The latest and hardest hitting so far from No on 8:

ellen on eight

Ellen says it all in this PSA released yesterday. Take a look:

"and I eliminate rights"

Here's the essence of Prop 8:

It has nothing to do with marriage, it's just discrimation against gay and lesbian people because they don't like us. End of story



How will it end?

Donate Here

front page

My conservative family reacted pretty well when I broached the subject of the love that dare not speak its name, with my father gently admonishing me to "keep it out of the newapaper". For his sake, I pretty much have, limiting my media exposure to network news cameras at various marches on a series of state capitols, and this blog thing. But nobody reads this, right?

My good friend Father Geoff, on the other hand, in his fight for equality for all, has taken it to the newspaper.

Click here to read his page one interview in today's LA Times

And if you haven't yet donated to no on 8, please do so if you can.

father geoff farrow

He really is a good friend and a wonderful man, full of love and humility and courage. I'm not religious, but the guy walks with grace.

I helped him get his word out as best I can to all of you fine folks, and tuesday we set him up a blog site. I helped with the basics, but now he has the tools and the passwords, and the words that flow are all his. Please follow along with him as his walk of faith takes him places heretofore unseen.

Father Geoff Farrow

And please, help defeat Prop 8. It's not about defending marriage. If it were, they would encourage marriage and discourage divorce. It's about stepping on the little faggots and taking back their civil rights. I for one will not go back to second class citizenship without a fight. I'm not borarding Sarah Palin's bus to Restorative Therapy camp while I can still stand. So please help. If you can donate money, please do. If you can't, please pass the word. It's the most important civil rights struggle of our epoch, and a loss here will encourage the oppressors to crush their way across the country.

No On Eight.

Help if you can. Please.

in blinking neon lights

Tim Dickinson, from Rolling Stone magazine, discussing his current story debunking John Mc Cain as a Maverick and other myths.

The bottom line? A man of blinding ambition and excellent connections but no to little talent trying to prove himself the equal of his father and grandfather when clearly he is not. Fifth last in his class. Three at-fault crashes before the one that got him captured. Sang like a nightingale to his captors. Sometimes the best sperm runs down Dad's leg.

As Tim concludes: "Country First? John Mc Cain puts himself first in blinking neon lights"

so these two priests start talking....

Reprinted from Father Tony of the Farmboyz

Father Tony, in his own words:

I just got off the phone with Father Geoffrey Farrow. (A blogger friend of his suggested I contact him and was kind enough to facilitate our introduction.)

If the word gracious can be undertstood to mean filled with grace in the spiritual sense, I’d like to apply it to Father Geoff who has surely fired a graceful shot to be heard round the world.He seems like a gentle man. A man of integrity who demonstrates once again that the greatest thing a man can do in this world is simply to be true to himself and to care about the people entrusted to him.

Trained in different seminaries and assigned to pastoral ministry in different parts of the country, our paths seem not to have crossed, but there is not a word of his magnificent story that felt foreign to me.

Having refused to bind himself to a directive from his bishop regarding Prop 8, and having delivered himself of a fine sermon about the nonsensical and un-Christian stance of the Roman Catholic Church regarding gay men and women and gay marriage, Father Geoff will return to his parish this weekend as usual and until he hears otherwise, will continue to serve his parishioners as usual. He has not been suspended.

Not yet. And this was a large portion of our conversation. Father Geoff has put the bishop of Fresno in a spectacularly awkward position. If he ignores what Father Geoff has said from the pulpit, he will catch hell from Rome. If he suspends Father Geoff or in any way reduces his faculties, he will be rightly demonized for silencing an honest and sincere priest who puts the message of Jesus Christ above the hidebound laws of the church, and he will find himself in the center of a defining war that has been percolating for far too long.

Father Geoff is unsure of his future, but he says that for the first time in years he feels at peace with himself while fearful about his ability to deal with the strife and tumult that is about to come his way. He said, “I feel like the little boy in the crowd who says the emperor is naked.”

We talked about the fact that most priests are gay, and about the power structure that keeps them silent when in their hearts they know they should be working to overturn the ridiculous mistreatment of gay people by the Catholic Church. He said that at a gathering of priests that followed the news about his sermon, the bishop was assured by many of the priests that Father Farrow was wrong and should be punished. This is disgusting and yet so very believable.

I wish I could shout out to all the thousands of gay priests out there. This is your chance, guys. Father Geoff took the first shot. He made the bold jump. Are you going to let him stand there alone and vulnerable? Are you going to turn your back on him? Or, will you stand up and be counted? Will you use your pulpits to support what he has begun?

The bishop can get away with suspending one man, but he cannot suspend all of you.

Do the right thing. This is why you were ordained.

take on me

It's not just the greatest music video of all time, it's also one of the quintessential songs of the 80's. But let's face it, the lyrics don't exactly match the action.

Until now. Linked From Towleroad. Website here. Enjoy.

in his own words

I don't see Father Geoff all that often, because he's based in Fresno. We had dinner about a month ago and he spoke of his plans to publicly come out against Proposition 8. That may not sound too shocking until you realize that he's based in Fresno, where the proponents are the strongest. So this could be a move that is not only career ending, but potentially harmful physically as well.

This morning, Father Geoffrey Farrow delivered this sermon at 11 AM Mass:

As most of you know, I was appointed pastor here at the Newman Center on April 15th of this year. When I arrived, I set out to address a series of various projects to repair our facilities. To date, most of these deferred maintenance items have been addressed. In the middle of dealing with contractors, the parish finance committee, the building department of the diocese, neighbors, etc., I received a FAX from the bishop’s office on the 30th of June. It was the bishop’s pastoral letter for the month of July.

This single FAX threw my whole summer, and in fact, my whole life into a turmoil. Recently, I was speaking with some of our parishioners who advocate for the ordination of women. In the course of our conversation, a question arose which has haunted me: “At what point do you cease to be an agent for healing and growth and become an accomplice of injustice?” By asking all of the pastors of the Diocese of Fresno to promote Catholics to vote “Yes” on Proposition 8, the bishop has placed me in a moral predicament.

In his “Pastoral,” the bishop states: “Marriage is much more than simply two persons loving each other. Marriage is naturally, socially, and biologically, directed to bringing forth life.”

Actually, there are TWO ends to marriage: 1) Unitive and 2) Procreative. The unitive end of marriage is simply a union of love and life. The Procreative end is, of course, to create new life. It is important to understand that the unitive end of marriage is sufficient for a valid marriage. The Church sanctions, and considers a sacrament, the marriage of elderly heterosexual couples who are biologically incapable of reproduction. So, if two people of different genders who are incapable of reproduction can enter into a valid marriage, then why is that two people of the same gender, who are incapable of reproduction, cannot enter into a valid marriage.

The objections which are raised at this point are taken from Sacred Scripture. Scripture scholars reveal the problematic nature of attempting to use passages from the Hebrew Scriptures as an argument against same gender relationships. Essentially, these scriptures are addressing the cultic practices in which sex with temple prostitutes was part of an act of worshiping Pagan gods. With regard to the Pauline epistles, John J. McNeill, in his book: “The Church and the Homosexual,” makes the following point: “The persons referred to in Romans 1:26 are probably not homosexuals that is, those who are psychologically inclined toward their own sex—since they are portrayed as ‘abandoning their natural customs.’” The Pauline epistles do not explicitly treat the question of homosexual activity between two persons who share a homosexual orientation, and as such cannot be read as explicitly condemning such behavior. Therefore, same gender sex by two individuals with same sex orientation is not “abandoning their natural custom.”

In 1973, as a result of a greater understanding of human psychology, the American Psychological Association declassified homosexuality as a mental illness. In 1975, the Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith (the Church’s watchdog for orthodoxy) produced a document entitled: “Declaration on Certain Questions Concerning Sexual Ethics.” In this document, they made the most remarkable statement. They stated that there are “homosexuals who are such because of some kind of innate instinct.” While these statements are hardly glowing affirmations of gay and lesbian persons, they represent a watershed in human perception and understanding of gay and lesbian people.

These new insights have occurred as a result of the birth and development of the science of psychology and understanding of brain development in the 19th and 20th centuries. The California Supreme Court cited and quoted an amicus brief filed by the APA in the Court’s opinion issued on May 15, 2008 that struck down California’s ban on same sex marriage. Specifically, the court relied on the APA’s brief in concluding that the very nature of sexual orientation is related to the gender of partners to whom one is attracted, so that prohibiting same sex marriage discriminates on the basis of sexual orientation, rather than just imposing disparate burdens on gay people.

In directing the faithful to vote “Yes” on Proposition 8, the California Bishops are not merely entering the political arena, they are ignoring the advances and insights of neurology, psychology and the very statements made by the Church itself that homosexuality is innate (i.e. orientation). In doing this, they are making a statement which has a direct, and damaging, effect on some of the people who may be sitting in the pews next to you today. The statement made by the bishop reaffirms the feelings of exclusion and alienation that are suffered by individuals and their loved ones who have left the Church over this very issue. Imagine what hearing such damaging words at Mass does to an adolescent who has just discovered that he/she is gay/lesbian? What is the hierarchy saying to him/her? What are they demanding from that individual? What would it have meant to you personally to hear from the pulpit at church that you could never date? Never fall in love, never kiss or hold hands with another person? Never be able to marry? How would you view yourself? How would others hearing those same words be directed to view you? How would you view your life and your future? How would you feel when you saw a car with a “Yes on 8” bumper sticker? When you overheard someone in a public place use the word “faggot?”

I remember the first time I heard that word, faggot, I was hanging out with my cousins. They all played on the football team of the Catholic high school in our town. One of them spat out the word in the form of a curse. I was just a kid in the 5th grade, I’d never heard the word before, and so I asked: “What’s a faggot?” A faggot is a guy who likes other guys, was the curt reply. Now pause. Think. What would those words mean to someone in junior high school who discovers that he/she is attracted to people of their same gender? The greatest fear that he/she would have is that they would be rejected by the people they love the most—their family. So, their solution is to try to pass as straight, deceive, and in effect—lie. Of course, this leads ultimately to self loathing. It should come as little surprise that gay teenagers have elevated suicide rates. According to the Center for Disease Control’s Youth Risk Behavior Survey (1999), 33% of gay youth will attempt suicide.

The bishop states: “The Church has spoken out constantly that those with a homosexual orientation must be respected with the dignity of every child of God. Every individual is created in the image and likeness of God and should never be subjected to prejudice or hatred.” A pious thought uttered by a cleric, robbed of any substantive meaning, as the executioner begins his work. Only a few select people actually read those documents. What most Catholics hear about being gay or lesbian at their parish church is--silence. A numbing silence, which slowly and insidiously tells them, “You don’t belong here, this is not for you, and you are not welcome.” It is not the crude overt vulgarity of some churches. But rather, it is the coldness of a maitre d’ who simply won’t seat you, or the club which has put you on a waiting list with no intention of allowing you to join. And simply asks you to wait in polite almost, apologetic tones.

In effect, the bishops are asking gay and lesbian people to live their lives alone. Why? Who does this benefit? How exactly is society helped by singling out a minority and excluding them from the union of love and life, which is marriage? How is marriage protected by intimidating gay and lesbian people into loveless and lonely lives? What is accomplished by this? Worse still, is to intimidate a gay or lesbian person into a heterosexual marriage, which is doomed from its inception, and makes two victims instead of one by this hurtful “theology.” This “theology,” which is parroted by clerics in polished tones from pulpits, produces the very prejudice and hatred in our society which they claim to abhor.

When the hierarchy prohibited artificial birth control, most of the faithful in the United States, Canada and Europe scratched their heads in wonderment and proceeded to ignore them. There is an expression in theology: “the voice of the people is the voice of God.” If your son or daughter is gay/lesbian let them know that you love them unconditionally. Let them know that you are not ashamed or embarrassed by them. Guide them as you would your other children to finding true and abiding love. Let them know that marriage is a union of love and life and is possible for them too.

I do not presume to tell you how to vote but I do ask that you pray to the Creator of us all. Think and consider the effects of your vote on others, especially minorities in our society who are sitting next to you in church, and at work. The act of casting a vote takes you a few minutes but it can cause other human beings untold happiness or sorrow for a lifetime. It can grant them hope and acceptance, or it can cause them to lose civil rights. It can be a rebuff to bigotry and hatred, or it can encourage bigotry and hatred. Personally, I am morally compelled to vote “NO” on Proposition 8. It is my hope that the people of California will join with those others around the world such as Canada, Europe and South Africa who welcome their gay and lesbian family members fully into society by granting them the civil right to marry.

I know these words of truth will cost me dearly. But to withhold them, would be far more costly and I would become an accomplice to a moral evil that strips gay and lesbian people not only of their civil rights but of their human dignity as well. Jesus said, “The truth will set you free.” He didn't promise that it would be easy or without personal cost to speak that truth.

I am so proud of him.

See local news coverage here

Update: California Residents Register to vote HERE

ed and larry

Ed is my hairstylist, because we don't call them barbers in Beverly Hills. We go all the way back to my first month in Los Angeles, which means we're in our fifteenth year. In that time, I've let exactly one other stylist touch my hair. After that, I learned to wait for Ed to get back. From Las Vegas, from a Hair Show, from Prison, whatever. I wait.

Ed and Larry did their share of waiting too. They're about fifteen years older than myself, so these guys are no springtime brides. They've been through life. Ed lost his partner Steven to the plague early on. He withdrew from the scene until he met Larry, and then something clicked.

Larry is a pragmatic Midwesterner. He knew what he wanted and just hung in there waiting while it evolved. At first, Ed said Larry would just hold him and let him cry over Steven. As time passed, Ed noticed that he had stopped crying and looked over his shoulder to see Larry there holding him. And that's pretty much how it's been this last seventeen years. I can't imagine a more stable couple.

When I saw him in July, I asked Ed if they were thinking of tying the knot. Ed said that he asked Larry, but Larry wasn't sure. Ed was rather hurt by the answer, saying that if he didn't know after seventeen years he wasn't sure when he ever would. I quickly changed the subject back to Lindsey Lohan.

I saw him last week and gingerly asked if there was any more discussion on the subject. "Oh, we did it", he replied. "We got married". "What? How did that happen?" I asked. About a month ago, it seems, Larry casually asked Ed to meet him at City Hall on a Friday afternoon. When Ed asked why, Larry said that he thought they should get their license.

Ed met him on the steps of City Hall, and they were the last couple for the day. While filling out forms, the clerk asked if they were getting married that day. "May we"? Ed asked, and was told that they could indeed. "But we don't have rings" Larry interjected. "Yes, we do". Ed had stopped by the bank and retrieved a pair they had bought on vacation one year, just in case.

Ed looked at Larry. Larry nodded. Ed smiled. And so it was to be. Long time friends Peter and John who happened to be there getting their own license stood as witnesses. "It's the darnedest thing", Ed spoke softly. "When we stood under that gazebo and started saying those vows, we both teared up. It really meant something".

I asked him if it was any different now, and he said "in all honesty, yes". He introduces Larry not as his partner, but as his spouse. Even after the implied stability of all the years, this is now a legal bond that requires a court order to dissolve. One can't just walk out on the other in the heat of an argument. "It's real" he said. "We're married".

To toast the newly minted old married men, here's a live performance of St Vincent's "Marry Me":

maverick quiz

Quiz Time:

Which of the photos below are NOT of a Maverick?


Ford Maverick

Ford Maverick

Faux Maverick

Ford Maverick

Ford Maverick

Bret Maverick

Let's get a little help from Joe Biden:



More Mavericks here:

the greatest of these

The text, of course, is Paul's First Letter to the Corinthians 13:1. It was a staple of every Episcopal Wedding in my childhood, and is presented here unaltered.



Who's relationship is on such shaky ground that in order to defend it, another's relationship must be denied?

this beautiful city

Had a relaxing evening with longtime friends on Sunday. Betty invited Ken, myself and Jeannette to an evening of theater. We met in Culver City's restored downtown for a bite of dinner and a play called "This Beautiful City" at the Kirk Douglas Theatre.




The theatre itself is a terrific little space. It's the old Culver Theatre, complete with original neon pylon and marquee, renovated into a state of the art 317 seat theatre. Our visit was complete with Kirk Douglas and his wife Anne, who are acquaintances of Betty and Jeanette. Although time has left his mark, the face is unmistakably Kirk Douglas. So the evening started on a high note.

The play, however, did not keep us there. "This Beautiful City" is a mockumentary about the 2006 Elections and the struggle between the Evangelicals and the Gay and Lesbian movement in Colorado Springs, on the eve of Ted Haggards's exposure as a methed up gay whoremonnger.

As much potential as that situation would have, however, was disappointingly executed. It was supposed to be about the filming of a documentary, so each scene represented raw footage. However, unlike a real documentary, there was no editing or distilling of the footage to create a compelling message. Instead, it was just a series of unfocused scenes which showed each group at their worst. As presented, it could have been titled "This Hateful City full of Unhinged People who lack Articulate Thought", but that hardly rolls off the tongue.

Great subject matter, but unable to recommend. Perhaps, as with a real documentary, a skillful editor could yet salvage the piece. I'd love to see this theme handled skillfully.

But hey, I got to meet Kirk Douglas.

love hurts

It's been a pretty raw and real couple of weeks here in the World O Jeff. You ever faithful folks have been through a recollection of tragic loss- whether by parental abuse, disease, accident, or suicide. Sorry its been so heavy, that's just where I have been.

To help bring everthing into perspective, take a look at two all time faves of mine. I've been listening to Elvis Costello and Emmylou Harris since the 70's. I love them both separately so much, but hearing them together in a live performance is just awesome. And they remind me that it wouldn't hurt if you didn't care.


Love Hurts: