Friday, July 11, 2008

a thousand julys

Two years today.

Fewer tears this year. The shock has lessened and we have, collectively, pretty much dealt with things. Life is resilient, whether we expect it to be or not.

When you lose someone, there is a terrible shock.

But at least you are spared the anticipation and dread which becomes part of the anniversary.

Everyone says the first year is the hardest- it's a year full of firsts without him. Birthdays, holidays, important days to be gotten through somehow. We all got together on the first anniversary, I wrote about it last July as one year later. We knew we would all be thinking of him, so we had a bowling party in his memory. It was very theraputic all in all.

I must admit the burden eased that day, the fact that we all survived a year together without him made it easier somehow. And I was very fortunate- I unknowingly got the chance to say goodbye. You can read about it here.

But he's never very far away from me. As his childhood friend Betty reflected, our summer will always have a thousand Julys.

For Betty, and for John, whom we miss today and always


Doralong said...

Saying goodbye is a very important thing. And you're right dear, he really will always be right there with you.

Al said...

In reading this and the other essays that speak to Johns life and friendships, one can't help but be struck by the network your group of friends has made for themselves.

Learning to live that balance of being strong and measured to give strength, and at the same time being humble enough to take it when required, can make these events something people can really move through, coming out changed, yes, but at least supported.

Willym said...

a lovely and loving tribute...